build off

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Musings

Feels like eons since I last wrote something sensible here. A couple of times I thought of shutting this blog down for good. Work has overtaken the zeal for two wheels as I was reduced to scooting a thousand miles in a month to and from where I hold office. Situations left and right, the hassles of babysitting a newborn business, working out effs with the people you work with - yeah, I use to just breeze through the same things when Brutus was just a few floors down. I can just wake him up, take him for a spin around my route, and that always clears up all the clout. But.. he's in suspended animation as of now, with no date for his rebirth. I've come to accept that work will take the front row for now.

The tangible thing would be to just remain an employee and finish the 9 to 5 pace just like everyone else does. The crazy thing was jumping off and choosing the lifeboat instead of the comfort of the luxury liner. I needed to row this on my own, can't be a passenger all my life. Delayed gratification has its pains, and sure gains.

I was buying early dinner at my usual stop one afternoon when I heard that familiar rumble. Two dogs in heavy thumpers passed by. Found myself to be a spectator for a change. There was the turning heads, then the awe, then the straining to look after they pass by thing. THAT'S how it was. Everything suddenly returned to me. I was still aching to be reunited with my call. I still wanted to command that attention. Scoot riders have no idea of such feelings. I was like a parrot looking up at an eagle who passed by high above my head.

There's also this machine shop quietly nested in the middle of a farm along my route. The smell of metal dust is just too much sweet odor. I miss dusting myself off from bits after I've used the grinder. I miss getting burned from too much tig welding shirtless. I miss bending tubes via torch. I miss the zen of loud music drowning out the cutting wheel. I miss everything that ties me to my bike.

That's why I've to hold my breath a while longer and see this through. So I can finally settle back in my seat one day and be able to buy any equipment I need to fill my needs. I call them toys. The lathe, the mill, my tig, my torch, my bender.. I will have them again. And when that day comes I'll be thinking back to this time that I was writing this, with my thoughts far ahead to that day.

Thanks for continually dropping in friends.